I knew you, I know you

I knew you, I know you

My previous post “significant”  was written in remembrance of friend of mine who died too young. In our teens she was strong, we started working and she achieved. She helped her parents and siblings, then she met this guy and allowed him to control and manipulate her. That post was written as a way to process the anger I still feel some times when I remember her.

One of my struggles about writing is that I wonder if what I felt laid in my heart got across, then did anyone benefit. As I was publishing “significant” I sensed the Father saying never to be afraid of proclaiming who we are because of Him, to never apologise or be apologetic because of the choices we have made in His name and for Him.

The English dictionary I use defines significant as “a measure of confidence that can be placed, that the results are not merely a matter of chance”. We are the Father's creation, His result. We, our dreams, talents, passions, etc etc are no surprise to Him and He wants all that we are for His glory. We are His workmanship, His masterpiece don't be afraid, ashamed, or apologetic love and serve your Father with all you are,and in every way available to you.

Listen to what the Father says about you.

Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.

I have searched you and know you.

I know and are aware of all your ways.

I have placed my hand on you.

Significant

Significant

Hi there.

This weekend I was reminded of one of my friends who lost the sense of who she is. She allowed her husband and people to abuse her and control her. We live in a global world of technology a time where information is equated to popular opinion. Being bombarded like this can be overwhelming and take away your confidence and identity.

Popular opinion cannot define you, I would like to share with you a few verses, to remind ourselves who we truly are. The opinion that should matter is our Father's. My friend forgot who she is and it can happen to any of us.

We are the beloved of the Lord, our Father calls us beloved  over a 100 times in His Word, I think that's significant. He has only one standard His Word. His standard never changes nor can it be swayed by anything or anyone. Beloved Forgiven Redeemed Precious Valued etc etc.

Scriptures:

Do you not know you are the sanctuary (the temple) of the living God?

Be careful that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deceit based on human traditions, based on the elemental forces of the world, not based on Christ. For in Christ the entire fullness of the Father's nature dwells, and you have been filled by Him.

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His possession, so that you may proclaim His praises.

This changes who and what you will allow to abuse your body and mind. Let the Father whose entire fullness through Christ dwells define you and your dreams.

Gods story through our lives

Testimony(God's story through our lives)

On the 2nd of December 1993,when I was 19  years old, I was involved in a taxi accident.

I was studying in Durban at the time and was travelling home to Umthatha. The taxi was travelling at a very high speed and hit an oncoming car, from the impact it went off the road and rolled over multiple times. We the passengers were strewn all over, I fell on a rocky area and suffered a head injury, multiple fractures and an injury to the lower spine. I don't recall the accident as my brain blocked the incident but because we had to talk to lawyers one of the survivors had to tell the story on my behalf. She was not injured at all she said she fell on some grass and got bruises. She said I was lucky that the car, the taxi, hit was a nurse's. She said because I was not bleeding I was over looked but the nurse insisted I be one of the ones taken to hospital first as she realised I was in a critical condition. God does provide even in the darkest of hours.

At the hospital they operated on my skull immediately as I had brain swelling. My level of consciousness was 2.5 according to the Glasgow Coma Scale with 3 being their lowest level and 7 borderline.  The doctors had no hope,  in so much that one doctor said to my grandmother  “its just a corpse mam why bother” when she asked and insisted I be transferred to a better equipped hospital. I was eventually transferred and out of the 5 critically injured I am the only one who survived.

He makes a way even in the darkest of moments.

I was in coma for a month and a half, but when I woke I could not sit up, turn, feel my legs or control bowel movement. I had to be helped with everything. But one of my first memories of that time is that God revealed Himself and I knew God  had done something great for me.

This sense of God gave me peace and hope and so my first question was ….

How do I show You or tell You thank you?

So I decided to sing in gratitude, I asked my mother for a hymn book and started singing and praising him in that hospital and continued till my family decided on me going home as I was not sick but could not walk. There is nothing more attractive or enticing to someone searching than a believer who knows is loved by God and is confident in that knowledge. At home in the former Transkei we had TBN for free and I could see what I desired. They seemed comfortable with God, and communing with. So I responded and committed my life to Christ. Someone once said I came to the Lord because I desired healing so now what? I share this for God revealed Himself to me and I responded to His loving kindness and great mercy. After 2 years of Physio and 3 hip ops I was able to go study and was introduced to His People. That's when I knowingly with understanding committed my life to Christ and in April 1997 was baptised.

Why did You not heal me completely?

It's impossible not to ask that question, for God revealed Himself to me spectacularly. He showed me from the beginning that the impossible is His speciality.

It's just a corpse, no she lives.

She might never wake up it's more than a month now, no she woke up.

She will never walk again, no she does walk.

She won't be able to study or function 100% as her brain was damaged, no she graduated, functions and can live on her own.

But that is not all that He revealed about Himself.

He has shown me what a great Dad and provider He is. One of my favourite names that God calls us by is “beloved” that God loves and cherishes me gives me confidence and security that is unshakable for I cannot explain everything but He sure has given me what I needed.

While I was studying there was a Physio not far from Tech and the lady Karen Devos a stranger, charged me for one session a week whilst I went every weekday in the afternoon.

What I needed He provided.

Did He do it the way I wanted or thought He should have, no. But I have learnt to love Him and appreciate Him. Do I want or believe for complete complete healing, I do, but as I trust and wait though I don't stop delving in more into who He is and His purpose for my life. It's in the pursuit of God and His Kingdom that I have found satisfaction and fulfillment with a third leg. Do I sometimes whine, of course I do for I know He is able. Was I ever consumed by seeking healing beyond all else, yes I did but I had no peace so I now would rather have peace and purpose while I wait on God.

Why are we here again Lord?

In the past 23 years I have had 18 operations, 17 were a direct result from the accident. Have had to rely on wheelchair twice. Have lost 3 jobs because of health and back issues as a result of accident and now am medically retired at 41.

The other side: (Flipside)

Before I even wrote my final exams I had a permanent job waiting for me. One of my lecturers assisted me in getting a student assistant with the IT department, and just before I finished my supervisor left and I got his job. When I lost my first job because of health, from the monies they paid I was able to buy a flat and a car cash. My last employer when they had every right to just fire me medically boarded me.

In this year of retirement I have had more time and resources to pursue and serve God in any way He leads than I have ever been able to.

After my last op 8 years ago I was so depressed and I truly felt rejected by God for I was back on a wheelchair with so much uncertainty about the future. As I moaned, sulked and performed asking Him why, the Lord answered and said “Life is a gift from me, enjoy it”. As I was not getting the answer I wanted or the sympathy i felt i deserved I decided to do as He instructed.

I hope I have been able to share my journey and God's story in my life honestly. I am no super human, I get depressed, angry and hurt,  but I am loved by my Father and that gives me strength.

I also have the support of my family particularly my mother and grandmother whose prayers and support I have had since I was born.

I also have been fortunate to serve in families in Christ that have taught me about God, and allowed or inspired me to know Him for myself and have also stood with me in prayer and walked with me through it all.

Insurmountable

Hi there.

This week has been an especially trying week. It seems I am a surrounded by circumstances and situations that are just too big for me to handle.
Some I got myself into through lack of understanding and wisdom. Some brought on by life in its unique way of testing not only our faith but our resolve and hope. I choose the word hope for I wonder if you can ever find joy without hope.

This blog is about HOPE, sharing encouragement I have found in the Father, His Word and through the relationships that encourage me in my journey. I sincerely pray that it would also bring the same encouragement to those who find themselves feeling as I did this week. Out there also are those who have at one point gone through the same and I am sure they smile and remember fondly how the Father walked them through the insurmountable moments and times in their lives.

Here are two words that no matter what scripture I read give me HOPE grace and mercy.
I am not going to share every scripture but I would like to highlight 2 Corinthians 12:9(Our Father's grace is sufficient for all our needs, and through it we find divine strength for this life).
"His mercy endures forever". 41 times our Father tells us in His Word , He realised we might sometimes forget when we loose focus.
Friends there is nothing His grace and mercy cannot contain. So then let us lift up our eyes to Him who is our HELP, our help comes from the Lord, Him who made the heavens and the earth.

Living in Worship

Molweni (Good day)

One Sunday Arno said something about how we might have distorted what worship is. He made the comment in passing but I sensed his conviction and this encouraged me to go back and explore what God says in His Word about worship. We all know that worship is more than just singing not that it is not one of the ways but what does He say.

“Discovering knowledge through exploration is a lifelong journey” that is my most favourite quote. And discovering more and more of who God is and how He relates to us through exploring His Word is even a better experience. So I went and searched His Word to find out what He says. The study bible I use records 161 mentions of the word worship in His Word. No we won't go through all of them but a few stood out to me and I would like us to chew on them in this week.

The first time a person is recorded saying “I will go and worship” is in Genesis 22. This is the chapter that tells us the story of Abraham asked to sacrifice his son.
He says to the servant he and his son will go and worship. In this passage of scripture I learnt from Abraham that worship involves sacrificing. Sacrificing what we hold most important and love. Worship is holding God most important and loving Him more than anything else. Abraham teaches us that worship is completely dying to self and submitting to our Father without reservation. Living in  worship of God we can't have things more important than Him.

When his son asks him where is the lamb Abraham says “God will provide”. I wonder for Abraham was human did he think God would make Sarah bear him another son or did he believe God would provide a lamb as He did. The lesson I learnt from Abraham is that worship is trusting the Lord. Trusting that in what He has asked us to do He has provided a way.

One other passage passage that stood out  is Romans 12. In this passage God urges, beseeches, begs us to present our lives, who we are, as living sacrifices and this He says, is our spiritual act of worship. Once again worship involves sacrificing self.

Our Father then continues to say that we should renew our minds through His Word so that the selfish, me first and God last patterns of this world we would not conform to. But be transformed into His image. For His sacrifice can never be matched but as we sacrificially live in submission to the Father just as Christ did we also glorify and worship the Father as Christ did.

Truly grateful

Molweni Good Day
Guess who is coming to dinner or Guess whose home you will end up in. In our church all congregants are invited to sign up as hosts or guest and you can imagine the surprise and enjoyment as you try to get to know each other and enjoy the time together.
Last evening I had such a wonderful time at the home of Charmaine and Wikus, a couple i had not had the opportunity to meet during our Sunday services. Around the table was a mixture of people you didn’t know, people you were starting to build a relationship with, people you had seen in church and even started greeting but never had the chance to talk to and get to know.
In the two times I have participated I have met and connected with people I would not have in the normal Sunday service and this is important for I have only finished a year in East London. And I am grateful, truly grateful.
A year ago I was medically retired from working and moved back home to East London. I missed my friends and church in Cape Town. I decided to find a home in Christ in East London and committed myself to Everyday People. At first I just went but as I have made an effort and a conscious decision to be involved and build relationship God has blessed me with new friends, new sisters and brothers to share and be real about the joys, the challenges and even the quite difficult to understand circumstances of being loved by God and loving God.
I say difficult at times to understand because I am 41 years old, literally saved  from death by God. Walking and fully functioning by His grace and mercy. Now gratefully enjoying faith in a family provided by Him. Yet I am not working and cant work because of a Taxi accident I was in when I was 19 years old.
The last part of not being able to cope with working I don’t quite understand but then I remember a Holy God came down and died for me. Then I am  grateful .
I remember how He has provided for me all my life then I am grateful. Then I remember that when I could not physical cope with work He has provided a salary till I fully retire. Then I am grateful.
Sometimes i am tempted to believe that the love He has must fall short. For surely He can heal me surely He can provide a job.  Then I remember how imperfect I am and  how I have been forgiven, redeemed, delivered and transformed then I am really grateful.
You know when pain comes and financial debt collectors are always emailing or messaging I want to cry Yhini Bawo ndincede (Oh my Father please help). Then I remember that this will pass also for we have been promised a better life both now and after death. Then I am truly grateful.
What’s this all about, last night in talking and sharing I whined about how can I be walking with a crutch when my Father was able to make me walk from a wheelchair. And I realised how ungrateful that sounded, human as it is. BUT  look up and focus on Him and you see just how grateful you should be.
Oh there is so much I would like to share with you on why I should be grateful but that would require a book. My encouragement today is that each and everyone of us would take time to lookup and write that book on how grateful we are for who God is and the amazing things He has done in all our lives that outshine the things or circumstances we don’t quite understand  sometimes.